Ostreoidea Adventure 
or Fried Bivalves on Fruity Slaw
(Breaded oysters on a slaw of lettuce, kiwi, green apple and avocado)

According to my friends at Wikipedia: "The word oyster is used as a common name for a number of different families of saltwater clams, bivalve molluscs that live in marine or brackishhabitats. In some species the valves are highly calcified, and many are somewhat irregular in shape. Many, but not all, oysters are in the superfamily Ostreoidea."
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I love oysters.  I love them raw, cooked, in stews, fried, and served in cardboard trays outside dockside diners.  In fact, I even like the oysters served at the Waterford, CA Car Wash. . . seriously.  My kids grew up knowing how to slurp oysters raw with a dash of lemon or hot sauce after picking them by the buckets in British Columbia. It's the family clan challenge:  do you like oysters?  yes or no.

Living inland can present some challenges to procuring a ready supply of fresh oysters, though.  Hence, I've come to appreciate the grocery store jarred oysters.  They are great for chowder, stuffing, and  a Hang Town fry. 

Tonight was a Friday, and my training as a good Catholic school teacher just overwhelmed me at the grocery store.  Now, this is something, as I'm Lutheran. . . but I did teach for years in a Catholic school, and this fish on Friday thing definitely has legs. .  . or fins. . .  or in the case of oysters. . . adductors (?). So, into my cart went the oysters and a whole bunch of other useful things.  When I got home, I told Mr. Artifact that we were having oysters for dinner.  Then. . . I scrambled for a complete meal from what was on hand.  After a  glass of wine, I came up with this recipe.   I have to say:  I rock!

Ostreoidea Adventure 
(serves 3-4)

Ingredients:

for the oysters:

• 1 jar fresh oysters
• 1/2 C sunflower (or peanut) oil

dredge:

• 1/2 C flour:
• 1/2 t garlic powder
• dash of cayenne pepper
• salt and pepper

wet soak:

• 1/2 C buttermilk
• 1 egg

breading (mix all in food processor):

• 2 C fresh bread crumbs (I used leftover sourdough bread that I pulsed in the food processor)
• 1/4 C parsley
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 T chopped  red onion
• 1/2 C Parmesan cheese
• zest of lemon to taste
• 1/2 t salt

Salad:

• 2 C shredded iceberg lettuce
• 1 avocado chopped
• 1 green apple, sliced thinly
• 2 kiwis, sliced thinly
• 1/4 C red onion sliced thinly into rings
• drizzle of lemon juice for apples and avocado

Salad dressing:

• 1/3 C lemon juice
• 3 T sugar
• 1/2 t dried ginger
• 1/4 t salt
• 1/8 t white pepper (or more to taste)
• 1 t Dijon mustard
• 1/2 C olive oil
• 1/4 C mayonnaise

Method:

Make the salad first.   Chop all the veg and put into a bowl.  Drizzle lemon juice over apples and avocado to prevent browning.  Set aside.

Make salad dressing by combining all ingredients except mayonnaise and oil.  Whisk together.  Whisk or blend in mayo and olive oil to form emulsion.  Set aside.

Preheat the oil in a large frying pan.
Put oysters into the dredge (or drop into a plastic bag and shake with the dredge).  Dip in buttermilk and egg soak.   Roll in breadcrumb mixture, then fry for about 3-4 minutes. Salt them more if you like when you take them out of oil.   Put on wire rack and keep warm in 250 oven while you get the salad plated.

Assemblage:  plate salad, dress with sauce. Place warm oysters on top of greens, add more sauce.  

Serve, Eat, Enjoy.